"Save me, oh God, from people who have no sense of humor."
— Ludlow Porch

The Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph for $6? Still Too Expensive.

As almost all newspapers are today, the Gazette Telegraph is crappy. Their slanted "reporting" and condescending editorials are just plain offensive; all while their subscription rates continuously increase. So, about two years ago I canceled our subscription and I haven't looked back. Today I got the following email from them...

This is my reply...

$6 for only the Sunday edition for three months? You people are pathetic. Your paper isn't worth even that anymore.

I will however, offer to pay you $5 per month for all editions. That's seven days a week of newspaper service for $5 per month. Not a limited trial price, or introductory price, but $5 per month for all editions, for as long as I care to receive them.

I still think that's too much, but my dog, Tank is trained to bring in the paper each morning and he LOVES it. I'll pay $3 per month so that he can have his job back. Another benefit that I can think of is that I'll have paper to use for starting fires and that's worth about $2 per month. When I canceled your stupid paper, I didn't realize how valuable having a steady supply of fire-starter was.

So, for $5 per month I'll allow you to deliver your "news" paper to my house every morning. You can boast to your advertisers about a new, paid subscriber; I'll have my fire-starter and my dog will be happy to bring it in to me every day. It's a win-win for everyone!

I'll send you $60 for the year and I look forward to delivery resuming soon.

With Warmest Regards,
Phillip H. Blanton

Update: The Gazette replied and offered me seven days of newspaper deliver for $69 per year. I accepted, so Tank will be fetching them again soon. By the way, here is a video of Tank fetching the paper.